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- Attention all Lawyers: Stop Crying , March 9, 2010
- The Deep End, Part II , January 29, 2010
- The Deep End: ABC’s Vision of a First Year Associate’s Life , January 22, 2010
- Do Law Schools Average LSAT Scores? , December 3, 2009
Infinite Loathing
The Deep End: ABC’s Vision of a First Year Associate’s Life
Last night ABC aired its new legal drama, The Deep End. I could argue that The Deep End demonstrates that screenwriting as a serious craft is dead, but if you’ve watched any three-letter network lately (other than HBO), you know that already.
Every decade or so, someone in TV land who narrowly escaped a career in law decides the world would be fascinated by watching the lives of lawyers. In a better world, we would cast stones at such people and leave their utterly implausible and trumped up shows unwatched. In our world, LA Law was a Thursday night staple for nearly a decade in the late 80’s and Ally McBeal helped establish Fox as a serious network in the late 90’s.
And they didn’t just invade our minds for an hour each week. Instead, they sent generations of young people to law school in droves. Naïve men simply assumed they too would become promiscuous, sports car-driving divorce attorneys like Arnie Becker and equally naïve women fully expected that, like Ally, they too could weigh 90 pounds, drink every evening away at the bar downstairs wearing provocative skirt-suits, and once in a while pretend to do some legal work (all the while being oddly disconsolate).
Again, better people would have stoned the producers who dreamed up these shows, as all too often we have interpreted their shows as career advice.
Hot off their success in luring people to medical school with Grey’s Anatomy (apparently “Grey’s” for aficionados), ABC is hoping The Deep End will do the same for law. The truth is, it’s not the worst show on television (primarily because Everybody Loves Raymond is still on) but it doesn’t yet have the allure of LA Law or Ally.
It focuses on the law firm of Sterling, someone, someone, and someone, but more specifically on four “brilliant” first-year associates making their initial foray into the legal profession. In the background linger the firm’s partners who, as they torture associates, fight over whether the firm should make money or help people. Really.
The Cast
It’s difficult to tell the associates apart because they’re essentially they same; budding optimists who, on the first day of their careers keep reminding people that they’re “damn good attorneys.” But there are some superficial things we can go on.
Addy Fisher is the somewhat homely (there I said it) ingénue from Case Western who gets arrested in the first episode for breaking through a security checkpoint in order to file papers with the court (because it happens). She reminds people how “brilliant” they all are as she steals cupcakes off other’s desks.
Dylan Hewitt, her male equivalent, attended Columbia Law School before he joined the firm. In the first episode, Dylan sits down with a judge ex parte in chambers and convinces him to reverse his custody ruling for a hot client and later has sympathy sex with the firm’s paralegal who had just failed the bar. Dylan’s played by actor Matt Long who actually attended Western Kentucky University. Really.
Liam Priory attended Cambridge (where they’re apparently now granting American JD’s?) and his only defining feature is that he has a weakness for hot women (because that’s not true of other men). In the first episode, he cost the firm a wealthy client by having sex with the client’s daughter. But don’t worry; he made it up to everyone by bringing in the business of an Israeli fashion maven by having sex with her as well. We also learn that he had his way with fellow associate, Beth, when they first arrived at the firm and they have sex again at end of the episode, just to let us know he’s for real.
Beth Branford, from Stanford Law School, completes a CEO transition at a major company about a week after being hired (it happens). Beth is seen-as attractive, though her face is nearly as wide as Evander Holyfield’s and she’s terribly bow-legged (there, I’ve said it). Beth has daddy-issues, evinced by her father actually telling her that she is too weak to have worked at his firm (again, cut from the headlines).
So that’s our cast. The Deep End’s most notable feature is that everyone is stunningly more attractive than their real life counterparts, and while this is true of most TV shows, it’s especially the case here. The legal secretaries are hot twenty-somethings, the clients are gorgeous, and even the partners would do in a pinch. Nowhere is there an obese slob who bills his life away.
There are worse ways to waste an hour of your life (e.g. The Mentalist), but it’s crucial to recognize that almost nothing you see on The Deep End is rooted in reality. To assist you, dear reader, in distinguishing the show’s unrealistic moments, I made of list of just a few things.
Fact vs. Fiction:
Fiction:
The hallway around the firm office floor is about 15 feet wide and the ceiling is about 25 feet high.
Reality:
If you look, the firm is presented as being housed in the Paul Hastings/ City National towers in Los Angeles where the lobbies are barely this large.
Fiction:
Rowdy Kaiser claims that the firm screened 1000 people for 4 spots.
Reality:
It’s more like 10:1, even at the most selective firms.
Fiction:
We see Dylan combing through books in the law library to look for a way to help a client.
Reality:
Databases Westlaw and LexisNexis essentially replaced law libraries at least 10 years ago. He’d be searching a database alone, not with an attractive paralegal to bounce ideas off of.
Fiction:
Dylan argues in court less than a week after being hired.
Reality:
Attorneys almost never go to court at prestigious firms, let alone in their first week.
Fiction:
In order to make up for torturing her, partner Susan Oppenheim takes Addy Fisher for “$100 pizza at Mozza”.
Reality:
Pizzeria Mozza, sister restaurant to Nancy Silverton & Mario Batali’s Osteria Mozza, serves pizza for $13-22. They’re on the corner of Melrose and Highland, call for reservations.
Fiction:
In the first week, of 4 associates, two have had sex with each other twice (Liam and Beth), one has had sex with a secretary (Liam), and one with a paralegal (Dylan). There’s less sex on Diary of a Call Girl.
Reality:
Varies by case, but expect a good deal less, especially if you’re not hot.
So that’s it for the premiere. See you next week.
Article by Trent Teti of Blueprint LSAT Preparation
I noticed the Mozza thing too. Apparently they were order for a group of 15 to hit the $100 mark. The fact that they hired only 4 associates as a major firm is ridiculous. The interviews were said to be done 3 months before they took the job when OCI’s happen second year of law school and you intern there for a summer. That fact that there was not one scene with someone in front of a computer or even with a computer in the room was remarkable considering the only things you do as a first year are research, write and bill time, all of which are done on, guess what, a computer. And most absurd of all was the fact that not only do these first years have client contact (which you will never have, you’ll be in a back room doing paperwork), they are actually thrown cases to handle from start to finish completely on their own. As far as Dylan, don’t forget that not only did he convince a judge in chambers to reverse a decision, but did so in direct defiance of Billy Zane (a partner) who told him to drop the case. Cause that happens. From a writing standpoint the ethical dilemmas are presented with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. As seen when the little blond actually tells her dad “On one hand I could say something and fulfill my moral obligation. On the other hand I could say nothing and make money.” Thanks for spelling it out, I hadn’t picked up on that. I’d complain more but when the preview for the show includes the line “I just want to be the best lawyer I can without compromising my morals” you know what you’re getting.
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Brad,
I agree on all counts.
I saw the “three months later” title and it didn’t even register that OCI and a summer associate program were entirely incompatible with the timeline. Now that you mention it, that’s a fairly egregious omission.
I did notice the stunning absence of computers. Part of me was willing to cut them some slack, because the actual practice of emailing back and forth without ever speaking isn’t very filmic. But still, they could have done better than they did.
They’re obviously using these conversations to externalize the characters inner-conflict and to advance the plot (which is also why they have associates sharing offices). But I agree that their dialogue wasn’t particularly nuanced. I actually heard one of the characters say that Dylan was suffering from “a crisis of conscience.” It doesn’t get much more on the nose than that.
I still really wonder whether it’s going to stay on the air. It isn’t LA Law, but one wonders if it could stick around anyway. I don’t think there’s that much competition in scripted network TV.
Time will tell.
Trent
My roomate thinks this is going to be an accurate representation of our first year as lawyers…sigh.
I really regret not eating at Mozza when I was in LA. C’est la vie.
P.S. Did you ever see Napoleon Dynamite? Addy (the homely one) was Napoleon’s lanyard-making love interest.
Caroline,
You actually bring up an important point.
Certain parts of this are extremely unlikely, as in meteorite colliding with the earth as you reads these words unlikely (disobeying partners instructions and surviving, working for a AM Law 100 firm and arguing in court a week after being hired, sitting down in a judge’s chambers ex parte and convincing him to reverse his ruling without a hearing, etc…)
But I’m assuming you’re talking about the more social aspects (desks piled high with muffins just there for the taking, partying at sweet bars with pools, getting a ton of ass, etc…)
These are not as metaphysical impossible as the first class, and I’ve actually see lawyers who behave this way and experience some version of happiness.
The interesting thing is that, and this is pretty important, almost inevitably these lawyers willed these states into existence, rather than simply befalling fortunate circumstances.
If you want Eden of muffins on your desk, you should plan on bringing them yourself. If you want to be partying at sweet downtown bars, you should plan on seeking them out and working to cultivate the relationships that would make such evenings possible. Should you want the summer camp sex scene, you need to work that as well.
What’s unreliable is to assume that all this is simply waiting for you, that your place has been carved out and reserved, and that the fit will be perfect. That’s up there with the tall handsome stranger who will laugh at your jokes and stroke your hair as you watch Dancing with the Stars…
One of the hardest working young attorneys I’ve known use to hang out at an exclusive London bar, and all of it was quite fashionable. The hitch was that he showed up after midnight whenever he went didn’t stay for more than an hour, and was back at work before 9 am every day.
So the fast-paced, fun life is possible, but it requires a good deal more work than one might assume. Nevertheless, it’s probably better than the alternative, which involves crying yourself to sleep thinking about how incomplete your life is.
Totally agree that the show was unrealistic and kind of silly. I also noticed some parallels to Grey’s Anatomy, making it seem like the sad little sibling trying to emulate big bro/big sis. Not sure I will keep watching, but I feel like some leniency is deserved since it was the pilot episode and all.
I really wish they had a TV show that was representative of that type of life. It would strangely be inspiring and most people who follow through with law school wouldn’t be disappointed.
Trent, are you trying to say that lawyers are not good-looking people? I met this beautifully stunning one not too long ago.
Love the pizza place mentioned.
Ok, back to logic games =/
Spags,
Mozza’s good, but nothing worth missing. I’d argue that it isn’t nearly as big a deal in LA as Zachary’s is in Berkeley. If Mario Batali didn’t own the restaurant next door, I’m not sure people would be making such a big deal about it.
Trish,
Fair point. A number of shows had lukewarm pilots and still turned out to be good. Still I’m not sure any of us will ever be proud of watching The Deep End. Nevertheless, I’ll watch next week.
Arsine,
There’s general consensus that the most realistic look at law school (though perhaps a bit dark and dramatized) is The Paper Chase (1973). John Houseman’s character “Charles Kingsfield” was, allegedly a composite based on two actual Harvard Law School professors from that era.
But I realize that you’re asking about something depicting legal practice and not law school. Unfortunately, some of the less glamorous aspects of legal practice make it difficult to film (the long hours spent almost entirely alone, massive amounts of reading, very little discussion, and the fact that many cases are dull).
Nevertheless, for an unflinching look at the life of a plaintiff’s attorney, I’d direct you to Jonathan Harr’s novel “A Civil Action.” I know, you’ve probably seen the movie, but the novel is far better. More importantly, it depicts the life of a plaintiff’s attorney, the depiction of which gets muddied in the fairly lame movie. Fair warning, it’s not Twilight.
With regard to whether lawyers are attractive… what a dangerous question. I certainly know of very attractive attorneys and I don’t think that it makes you instantly homely. But…
There’s no way around the fact that attorneys work long hours, are mostly sedentary, and deal with a good deal of stress. For that reason alone, they’re generally less attractive than personal trainers or lifeguards.
Nevertheless, there are very attractive attorney and I have no doubt that you can join their ranks. But, it is a salad-at-your-desk to make time for working-out-before-work kind of life. But to be fair, those who pull it off look that much better because they stick out among those who don’t.
lol Trent.
Yeah, expecting to have all of that simply handed over to you is sort of unrealistic. So is expecting that everyone in big law looks like those people on TV. (That would probably help with the summer camp sex environment though…but I guess U of C did teach me that being ugly doesn’t really stop you from getting ass)
Working as a lawyer is like any other thing, you have to scope out what works for you without making you want to kill yourself. When I work overtime now, it feels like a waste of time and not worth the effort, but in 4 years, at least I’ll be making enough money to (sort of) justify the extra hours.
I’m sure I can make some sort of awesome social life around my life as a lawyer (maybe anyway). I mean, I did make it to work the day after our LSAT party in June…
Caroline,
If anyone could merge a legal career and a social life, it’d be you. Just make sure you drop us a line with some juicy tidbits.
Trent
Did anyone think that a lawyer in a firm sleeping with a secretary (and yes, he could have pulled his pants up before speaking to those that walked in…) opens up the law firm to sexual harassment claims! The secretary could sue and really mess up his time at the firm.
The show is awful. They could have made it just a tad realistic. I don’t intend to watch again.
I’m anti-plastic surgery, but you could also say if lawyers do look horrible there’s nothing a little a few nips, tucks, and injections couldn’t fix right? And a personal trainer.
They can afford it, right?
I haven’t seen The Paper Chase but I’ll get to it after this stupid exam.
And I’ll definitely read that novel.
Nancy: haha. I didn’t even think of that but I suppose you could totally file claims! You don’t even need to watch the shows. Trent updates summaries for you on the blog.
P.S. Twilight IS the AIDS of literature. And film, too.
[...] I have very little interest in living the real life version of The Deep End, and intend on going into public interest work when I graduate. So the number one factor in my [...]